Escapism
And yes, a month ago I finally got a little extra money, and plunked down the fifteen bucks to reactivate my World of Warcraft account.
And as expected, I’m back to spending a lot of my free time online, whacking away at computer-generated creatures in a virtual fantasy world.
Of course it’s escapism. Due to my job, I’m required to spend eight to twelve hours a day at the computer, required to be reacheable by my boss, my co-workers, or clients. Every time I pop out to get the mail or take out the trash, my cell phone rings. By the time I’m done with work, it’s too dark to go out (and it’s too cold to do anything good anyway).
And yeah, some people have asked me, if I spend all that work time on the computer, why would I choose to spend my leisure time back on the machine?
Some people spend the same amount of time in front of the TV. The average Japanese household watches 8 hours of TV a day.
It’s the lifestyle I’ve had for the past fifteen years now, since high
school and college. It’s worked for me in the past - after a marathon
session of Orion or Archmage after work, me and my friends would all go
out for a few beers or a couple of rounds of billiards. Or breakfast,
sometimes, after an all-night LAN party. Difference here, of course, is that my friends are across the Pacific, and it’s gonna take a little work before we can go out for beers again.
Thing is, it’s not escaping into a fantasy world of wizards and dragons like a lot of people think. Sure, I’m single, working from a tiny one-room apartment, overeducated and underpaid, living with a brother who hates my guts… anyone would want to escape from this.
It’s not that I’m escaping into a made-up virtual world. I’m escaping into a world where I can talk and do things with my buddies, chat about the latest news back in UP or stuff happening in my home town… raise a virtual mug of ale with in a virtual bar in a virtual city in a fantasy world.
I’m escaping into a world where I have good friends, escaping from my life in this cold, lonely city thousands of miles away from the people I love. And for a few hours each day, I can roam that world, with my friends by my side, and remember what my life was like a few years ago.
I’m escaping into my past, and that’s something I need in the face of my uncertain future. Because otherwise, I’ll end up bitter and depressed and lonely, if I force myself to live in the "real world".
Because a few years or decades from now, when I can finally retire, I’m going back to that life.
Someday, I’m going to be happy again. I just have to hold on to my sanity long enough to get there.
