California, 2007

I’d been planning on going on vacation around June of this year, but my sister’s wedding got me to move up the schedule a bit.

So. Hoped for more of a vacation, but the best I can get is two weeks. Working vacation at that - my boss still expects me to be available on my cellphone, and expects me to keep working over the break. Typical.

Anyway. I am flying home to the Philippines for two weeks, February 16 to 28. I’ll be spending Valentine’s evening somewhere over the Pacific. First vacation after one and a half years of work. I’ve been away for almost two years.

I’m still pretty lucky I guess - most of my friends have not had the chance to go home in years, due to visa or other concerns. I can go home as often as I want, theoretically, as long as I have enough money for airfare.

And after nearly two years, this city, this country still isn’t home to me. Home is still that small college town in the foothills of Mt. Makiling. I realize this is not going to change, anytime soon.

And I miss it. Miss it terribly.

I am afraid that the next two weeks will be so good, so fun, that I’m going to have trouble flying back and going back to work.

Back to the real world, as they say. Back to the grind. Back to forcing myself awake every morning, bleary eyed as I realize I’ve fallen asleep at the computer again. Back to a life where weekdays and weekends blur together and all you can look forward to is getting this project out of the way before more work comes down the pipe.

Ah, well. I’ve started hating this job months ago, but my resume isn’t good enough to get anything better.

I’m too old for this. Maybe if I was just fresh out of college I’d still be excited about working on the cutting edge of Internet technology, but as it is, new and exciting doesn’t make up for crappy hours and no benefits.

Which is why I try not to think too long-term. Just try to get to the next day, the next week, the next month, and try not to think of where you’re going.

Oh, well. Hopefully the next two weeks away from the Real World will change my perspective. Maybe I just need some time to remember why I’m working this hard, why I’m saving up this money, why I’ve gone and moved seven thousand miles away from all the people I love.

Just need a little time.