Homeward Bound
Quit my job two weeks ago, and I’m finally having some time to myself. My old company hired two people to replace me, and they complained about the workload, so they hired a third person. Three people, to do my old job. And they never listened to me when I said I was overworked. Hah. Not my problem now.
Haven’t been around the city much like I planned, except for a couple of trips to the Palace of the Legion of Honor and the mall, and lakeside walks in the afternoons.
And here I am, in much the same situation I was two years ago. No job, no income, in an expensive apartment in an expensive city. Oh, which is why I’m giving this up - the lease expires this month, and I can’t afford another year-long lease. Between the rent, the food and the taxes, I haven’t managed to save as much as I’d liked over the past two years. People look at how much I make and say I must be rich by now, but it’s interesting that I haven’t been able to buy any computer stuff in over a year. Back in UPLB I had enough money to upgrade my rig every six months or so, with enough left over for eating out or going to the bar two, three times a week.
Here? My checking account keeps sending me "low balance" email every week or so. Ramen for lunch. I’ve only eaten out maybe three times over the past year.
Living in the Bay Area, tech center of the Western world, and there’s all these technological wonders in the shop windows, but I never have any money to buy anything. And no, with the way things were going, the situation wasn’t going to improve.
I’ve decided that life in the big city isn’t for me. Never liked cities, not even Manila.
So now I’m going back home for a few months while I reconsider my options.
So. Flying out of SFO early Tuesday morning, landing in Manila at around ten AM Wednesday next week.
Packing. Packing two years of my life and all my worldly possessions in two bags and a 24×24 box. I find it interesting that by volume, I have more books than clothes.
Backing up my files onto three hard disks and two computers. Still deciding on whether to ship my computer home as ocean cargo, or bring it as checked-in luggage.
I had a brief flash of irrational anger when my brother suggested leaving the computer behind. This is the only thing I have of value here. I’m paying for the ticket, I’m paying for the shipping and I’m damn well paying to bring it along.
I guess I’m closing one chapter of my life - can’t say I enjoyed my stint in the IT startup industry, but it was… instructive. I learned a lot.
I’ve lost a lot of my faith in humanity. I guess this is part of growing up, learning the hard way that the world is a cruel, hard place and people are going to take advantage of you if you let them. There was a time when I thought sacrifice and hard work would pay off eventually, but now I know better.
I’ve learned that money can’t make me happy. I guess I’m fortunate - a lot of people never get the chance to figure that out for themselves. Money doesn’t buy happiness - but then I’d known that since I was a child.
My sister tells me I shouldn’t worry - I can find a job anywhere I choose. I don’t share her optimism, but she’s been right so far.
Anyway. Life goes on. Time to get on with mine.
